Passover: Laugh While Cleaning

Passover, or Pesach as it is called in Hebrew, is the 8 day festival where the Jews celebrate their liberation from Egypt more than a thousand years ago. One of the most important features of this freedom festival is that the Jews cannot eat anything that is leavened. They eat unleavened bread.

They must also make sure that no bread crumbs exist in or around the house: the cupboards, the drawers, the kitchen, behind the bed, under the refrigerator and anywhere else where crumbs might have fallen through. To ensure that the house is clean of leavened food materials, the Jews have to clean the entire house from top to bottom as thoroughly as possible. And they do. During the week before Passover, house cleaning is what goes on in most Jewish houses. To answer this demand and to ease the tension, here is a joke on this subject called Impossible Timing, which highlights this cleaning tension.

Impossible Timing:
Samuel, an observant Jew, who was also a financial wizard, left Brooklyn to accept the position of Vice President in a famous broker firm in Utah, which is well known for being a Mormon state.

When they learned this, the company's directorate applied tremendous pressure on the company's president. "We are religious people here," they said. "It can't be that a Jew will handle all our money."

The president tried to ward them off, but when he couldn't manage it anymore, he called Samuel to his office and explained the situation to him. Samuel was offered the choice of either converting or leaving the attractive job which also had a six figure salary quote attached to it.

Samuel had no choice but to convert, and he went home and told his wife that from Sunday, they will start attending the Church services.

A few months went by and his wife kept troubling Samuel about the conversion. "This is too difficult for me. I miss the Sabbath: lighting candles and blessing the wine. I miss the holidays. Money is not everything, Samuel dear."

And with each time that his wife complained, Samuel's conscience increased until he could not take it anymore and he went to meet the company's President.
"Look, I can't go on like this," Samuel said. "I am full of regret. Money is not everything. I can't sleep and neither can my wife. This is too heavy a burden for me to carry. I was born a Jew and I want to die a Jew. And if you want me to quit, I will without making any trouble."

The President looked at him in wonder, "Listen, Samuel, I had no idea that this was so difficult for you. I thought it was a trivial matter. But you don't have to leave. Everything will be the same as before: you can stay here with us without converting.

Samuel returned home happy and grinning from ear to ear. He ran to his wife, who was watching Ricky Lake, "You won't believe it! It's a miracle. We are going back to being Jews, and I still retain my job."

His wife looked at him with eyes that spat fire, and said," Are you mad?"

Samuel was shocked. "But I thought that this is what you wanted!" He cut in. "All this while you have been crying and complaining. Don't you wish to go back to becoming a Jew""

His wife looked at him with ever more fury, "Of course I want to. Of course I want to," she said. "But now? Only a week before Passover?"

Las Vegas: How to Have Non Gambling Related Fun

Last month, my wife, Anne Doe, took me to Las Vegas because she had to go for a business convention. Needless to say, she writes for an guide to casinos and I hate gambling. But then, she likes it and this supports us too, so I went along without any hassle. At first I was depressed, but then as I asked around and looked around, I ended up having more fun in Las Vegas than I would have thought. And no. I did not enter a single casino while I was there.

Entertainment:
One of the greatest things about Las Vegas, Reno and Atlantic City (but especially Las Vegas) is the number of shows that are available. You can get to watch top class comedians like Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Tim Allen and even the likes of Bill Cosby and Chris Rock. If you are into music you can watch female singers like Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Beyonc?, male performers like Phil Collins, Eric Clapton, Snoopy Dog and bands like Oasis and Bon Jovi. I could go on and on but the list is endless. If you are into magic you can watch magicians like David Copperfield do their thing meters from you. Whatever you like, you can find it here from Western music to oldies to Jazz, Rock, Heavy Mettle to Trance. All you have to do is look at the itenary offered during your visit.

Food:
Chinese to Japanese to Korean to Jewish and even Vegetarian and proper meat eating establishments await your every delight in Vegas. Do not opt for the cheap and oily fried dishes served for free while you play. Stop a while and take in the delightful scenery and smells of East Asian or European dishes. What is wondrous is that you get to see man's ability to mix. A real melting pot if I may say so myself.

But is that all what casino cities like Las Vegas are about? Do you have to remain in the city to really and truly enjoy your stay?

No.

Here are some of the better attractions you must see on your visit to Vegas:

Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon:
Book yourself a seat on any of the many sightseeing tours available and go and watch the architectural marvel that is Hoover Dam built over the Grand canyon which is also a grand sight to see by itself. Black Canyon is another must see as is Lake Mead which is so beautiful just because it is a body of water all surrounded by desert-like nature.

Colorado River:
While looking at the Dam and Canyon is from above, to see the true beauty of the river, you have to go down. The Colorado river is excellent for river-rafting and water sports, but you do not have to take part if it is not your thing. Instead just sit back and enjoy another of nature's marvels.

Bonnie Springs:
Who can not resist going to one of the old towns like those in the Western gun slinging movies? Your destination needs to be Old Nevada. There you can delight in an old western town right in the middle of Red Rock Canyon. They host western shootouts too so come prepared, partner!

Conclusion:
I could go on and on about other attractions like the theme park in Circus Circus, the Gilcrease Nature Sanctuary, the Henderson Bird Viewing Preserve and Mt. Charleston but I think you get the picture. In Las Vegas and hate gambling? Do not despair. Just go out and have some clean un-gambling fun.

How to Maintain your Mental Health

In recent years people have realized the importance of proper diet and exercise, and recent surveys show that over the last 20 years people are eating better and working out more often, resulting in people living longer, but people are still lacking in their understanding that their mental well being is just as important as their physical health.

Today most people get on average 4 to 6 hours of exercise every day, and make sure that everything they put in their mouths is not filled with sugars or preservatives, but they pay no attention to their mental health, no vacations, not even the occasional long weekend, 60 hour weeks, taking work home with them and even working weekends. All of this for hopes of one day getting that big promotion. What good will it do you when your brain overloads and you have a breakdown in the office.

In the end your physical health will suffer no matter how well you eat and how often you exercise. You will wind up with high blood pressure, stress and tension all of which raises the chances of you having a stroke or heart attack.

In hopes of helping you avoid this I am providing you with the things I do to keep my mental health in tip top condition.

My absolute favorite thing to do to refocus myself is to go for a long ride on my Harley. Nothing brings the world back into focus like riding free like the wind, there is no better forms of therapy as far as I am concerned.

Another great way to relieve the stresses in your life and help put a sparkle in your mental health is a trip to the casinos. Most people go to the casinos and expect to go home a winner, I do not. I go to have a good time.

I enjoy the skill required in