When my friend sensed that in a few weeks the light of life was about to be extinguished, and that there was no more hope for him, he called me to his side and said, "If only I had lived my life differently, I might not have felt such an emptiness now. Promise me," he caught my hand, "Promise me that you won't make the same mistake." And when I asked him what mistakes, he asked me to get a pen and paper and to jot down his last words. Here they are in condensed form:
1) Talk less; listen more.
2) Listen to your grandfather's stories about his youth. When he's gone, you will relive the bond through these memories.
3) Invite friend over for a snack or dinner even if the house is a mess.
4) Eat popcorn in the living room even though its messy.
5) Invite the friends who have children home. Don't worry about their children creating a mess.
6) Sit on the grass even though it dirties your pants.
7) Never buy something just because it lasts for a long time or because it is practical.
8) Stay in bed and at home when sick and stop pretending that the world cannot go one without me for a day.
9) Light up the wonderfully crafted candles and let them burn out. Better this than they accumulate dust in the closet.
10) Share life's responsibilities with a partner, not only expenses.
11) (Meant for Women) Instead of waiting for the pregnancy to get over, cherish each moment in your heart. Understand that the life in you is the only chance you will get to help god create magic.
12) Let your children hug and kiss you whenever they wish to. Don't stop them by saying things like: later, go wash your hands first, we have to eat dinner.
13) Say the following two phrases as often as possible: "I love you" and "I am sorry."
14) Stop worrying about who loves or and who doesn't or about what others have or don't have.
15) Cherish all personal human relations.
16) Play with a pet every day. Laugh and run with it and take part in all its antics.
17) Spend more time with the people who love you.
18) Stop sweating because of all the small details and problems of life.
19) Grab every moment, look at it and live it. That moment will never return again.
Her name was Susan, and she had one six year old daughter. Susan taught me these few basic ideals that I have tried to follow in honour of her memory. It has made me a better man, a much nicer husband and in general, a happier person. Even now I can hear her say that God has blessed each and every one of us, and that we should accept these blessings and strive to become stronger both physically, mentally and also emotionally. I will always remember what she said to me the last time we met: "Jack, you are lucky. Don't blow it."
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Friday, January 29, 2010
Leadership: Be An Example
The greatest leaders in history were the ones who had the ability to command the respect of the people who followed them. This is something that they earned. It was not blindly given to them. One can be given authority by simply being in a position. However, no position can garner respect. It is the actions of the individual that lead to others providing it.
One of the most basic ways to gain the respect of those which you have authority is to be an example. Whatever you preach, be certain that you are living it. Management is not about issuing orders. It is about making decisions that are to the benefit of the organization. Sometimes, these decisions come in conflict with the “troops”. How these challenges are surmounted is partially contingent upon the respect the manager has from the personnel.
It seems that a lot of people in authority operate with the attitude “do as I say, not as I do”. This is a surefire way to instill resentment among those you are leading. They begin to question why should they do something that you are not willing to do. There is a lot of legitimacy to this. How can you expect someone else to do what you are not willing to do yourself? Under normal circumstances, this is a misguided way to run an organization.
Military history is littered with leaders of all kinds. There are those who excelled with a fair number who flopped. Nevertheless, the image of the battlefield offers a wonderful example of the different ways to lead. Picture a general on horseback telling the troops to charge while hanging safely in the rear. Compare this with the same general in front of his troops shouting “charge” and rushing forward towards the enemy. Obviously, the second is an example of a leader willing to do what he asks of others.
Leading through your actions is one effective way to gain the respect of your staff. Another, is to exemplify the characteristics that the organization is promoting. If you are seeking honesty, a willingness to work, and intelligence, it is best to have these traits yourself. People are more apt to stay and work late if their manager is putting the hours in also. Similarly, if a leader is willing to “get his/her hands dirty”, the organization knows that person is not looking down at them. Businesses make the lines of command clear. A manager who is a working part of them team will have the respect of those personnel.
Another way to garner their esteem is to keep the lines of distinction clear. Too often, managers become friends with those whom they are leading. This creates the situation where a mixture of emotions can come into play. Leading involves the making of decisions. Unfortunately, it is impossible to keep everyone in an organization happy. There will be some who feel that a particular choice negatively affects them. In these instances, if there is a “friendship” between the manager and staff, some will take it personally. In a healthy managerial position, the organization will realize that you selections are based upon what is best for the company without regard to personal likes.
The example you set is the one that will filter through your team. In the era of rapid change, one of the qualities needed is the ability to learn. When people work for managers who fall behind in terms of advancements, their respect dwindles. I personally incurred a situation where I worked for someone who had no idea what our business was about. To make matter worse, since he did nothing to improve his level of expertise, he was just as uninformed 6 months later. He had the authority that came with the position. However, he had did not have the respect of anyone on our team.
The days of operating in an “ivory tower” are history. People are too transient to work under such conditions. By the time individuals reach their mid 30's, they have worked under a variety of different managers. This gives them a wide scope of experience. If you can curry their respect, the chances of retaining them are greatly increased.
People watch what their leaders are doing. The papers are filled with people in positions of power who are caught behaving in an embarrassing manner. These individuals did something when they thought nobody was looking. Of course, someone was watching. The same is true within your organization. Like children, employees take notice immediately when your words and actions split. Effective leaders are most concerned about “walking the walk”.
It is difficult to be a living, breathing example of all that you want your team to be. However, to be the most effective manager, this is absolutely critical. A leader cannot lead if others are not willing to follow. Mutiny is not something that only happens on the high seas. Gaining the respect of your personnel is a guaranteed way to ensure they will follow you. Set the example for the behavior you want and them show them that you expect them to do the same.
One of the most basic ways to gain the respect of those which you have authority is to be an example. Whatever you preach, be certain that you are living it. Management is not about issuing orders. It is about making decisions that are to the benefit of the organization. Sometimes, these decisions come in conflict with the “troops”. How these challenges are surmounted is partially contingent upon the respect the manager has from the personnel.
It seems that a lot of people in authority operate with the attitude “do as I say, not as I do”. This is a surefire way to instill resentment among those you are leading. They begin to question why should they do something that you are not willing to do. There is a lot of legitimacy to this. How can you expect someone else to do what you are not willing to do yourself? Under normal circumstances, this is a misguided way to run an organization.
Military history is littered with leaders of all kinds. There are those who excelled with a fair number who flopped. Nevertheless, the image of the battlefield offers a wonderful example of the different ways to lead. Picture a general on horseback telling the troops to charge while hanging safely in the rear. Compare this with the same general in front of his troops shouting “charge” and rushing forward towards the enemy. Obviously, the second is an example of a leader willing to do what he asks of others.
Leading through your actions is one effective way to gain the respect of your staff. Another, is to exemplify the characteristics that the organization is promoting. If you are seeking honesty, a willingness to work, and intelligence, it is best to have these traits yourself. People are more apt to stay and work late if their manager is putting the hours in also. Similarly, if a leader is willing to “get his/her hands dirty”, the organization knows that person is not looking down at them. Businesses make the lines of command clear. A manager who is a working part of them team will have the respect of those personnel.
Another way to garner their esteem is to keep the lines of distinction clear. Too often, managers become friends with those whom they are leading. This creates the situation where a mixture of emotions can come into play. Leading involves the making of decisions. Unfortunately, it is impossible to keep everyone in an organization happy. There will be some who feel that a particular choice negatively affects them. In these instances, if there is a “friendship” between the manager and staff, some will take it personally. In a healthy managerial position, the organization will realize that you selections are based upon what is best for the company without regard to personal likes.
The example you set is the one that will filter through your team. In the era of rapid change, one of the qualities needed is the ability to learn. When people work for managers who fall behind in terms of advancements, their respect dwindles. I personally incurred a situation where I worked for someone who had no idea what our business was about. To make matter worse, since he did nothing to improve his level of expertise, he was just as uninformed 6 months later. He had the authority that came with the position. However, he had did not have the respect of anyone on our team.
The days of operating in an “ivory tower” are history. People are too transient to work under such conditions. By the time individuals reach their mid 30's, they have worked under a variety of different managers. This gives them a wide scope of experience. If you can curry their respect, the chances of retaining them are greatly increased.
People watch what their leaders are doing. The papers are filled with people in positions of power who are caught behaving in an embarrassing manner. These individuals did something when they thought nobody was looking. Of course, someone was watching. The same is true within your organization. Like children, employees take notice immediately when your words and actions split. Effective leaders are most concerned about “walking the walk”.
It is difficult to be a living, breathing example of all that you want your team to be. However, to be the most effective manager, this is absolutely critical. A leader cannot lead if others are not willing to follow. Mutiny is not something that only happens on the high seas. Gaining the respect of your personnel is a guaranteed way to ensure they will follow you. Set the example for the behavior you want and them show them that you expect them to do the same.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
32 Words That Can Change Your Life
We all have ways of testing opportunities that enter our lives. Some of us just dive right in based on feeling, others walk straight into what they know is right by a gut feeling or intuition. And if it’s not gut feelings or emotions that are the tests of opportunities, it is the logical mind persuading us to ignore those feelings and emotions and test it with our reality of reason.
Most of us do not have a predetermined strategy for testing opportunities, or even more generally to test the actions we take and the choices we make in our lives.
There is an easier way to determine if our choices we make and the opportunities we receive ‘pass the test’. This simple 32 word statement of business ethics was first created in the 1930s and used to turn around a failing company. These four questions were applied by each employee to each and to every minute detail of the company’s workings. This little list of four questions from Rotary International, a humanitarian business organization, is the most widely printed, translated and reproduced piece of business ethics today:
“Of the things we say, think or do:
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?”
If we built businesses and our lives based on these very simple 4 questions we would be coming from a place completely the opposite of the competitive mind and the lack mentality. As you can see, these questions prompt you to choose what is true, fair, and good, making choices that can build friendships and goodwill. It helps us to see how the choices we make can be beneficial to all concerned.
Because of our societal influences, we most often are inclined to make choices and act based on a competitive mind. This comes from the perspective of lack, scarcity, and ultimately greed.
Any opportunity based on the model of competition and lack will simply not pass the test. Competition promotes strife. It embodies winning one spot, taking it away from all the other people who want it. It misleads people to believing there is only one chance for success, when in reality there is plenty for all.
The competitive model encourages people to rely on a source outside of themselves to give them what they need. This denies the power of their own ability to create what they want. This narrow focus shows they are choosing to ignore the possibility of creating this opportunity in their own lives, instead of trying to win the spot from millions of others.
This simple testing technique takes us completely out of the competitive mind of greed, scarcity and lack. It turns our thoughts and choices toward the positive, realizing there are opportunities we can take that can provide increase for all concerned.
I invite you to use these questions to test your actions and opportunities in your life. If you are seeking opportunity, these questions may help you see things in a different way. In doing this, perhaps you might find an opportunity in your life which truly allows you to benefit the world, while at the same time reaching whatever your dreams, goals, and desires are.
Most of us do not have a predetermined strategy for testing opportunities, or even more generally to test the actions we take and the choices we make in our lives.
There is an easier way to determine if our choices we make and the opportunities we receive ‘pass the test’. This simple 32 word statement of business ethics was first created in the 1930s and used to turn around a failing company. These four questions were applied by each employee to each and to every minute detail of the company’s workings. This little list of four questions from Rotary International, a humanitarian business organization, is the most widely printed, translated and reproduced piece of business ethics today:
“Of the things we say, think or do:
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?”
If we built businesses and our lives based on these very simple 4 questions we would be coming from a place completely the opposite of the competitive mind and the lack mentality. As you can see, these questions prompt you to choose what is true, fair, and good, making choices that can build friendships and goodwill. It helps us to see how the choices we make can be beneficial to all concerned.
Because of our societal influences, we most often are inclined to make choices and act based on a competitive mind. This comes from the perspective of lack, scarcity, and ultimately greed.
Any opportunity based on the model of competition and lack will simply not pass the test. Competition promotes strife. It embodies winning one spot, taking it away from all the other people who want it. It misleads people to believing there is only one chance for success, when in reality there is plenty for all.
The competitive model encourages people to rely on a source outside of themselves to give them what they need. This denies the power of their own ability to create what they want. This narrow focus shows they are choosing to ignore the possibility of creating this opportunity in their own lives, instead of trying to win the spot from millions of others.
This simple testing technique takes us completely out of the competitive mind of greed, scarcity and lack. It turns our thoughts and choices toward the positive, realizing there are opportunities we can take that can provide increase for all concerned.
I invite you to use these questions to test your actions and opportunities in your life. If you are seeking opportunity, these questions may help you see things in a different way. In doing this, perhaps you might find an opportunity in your life which truly allows you to benefit the world, while at the same time reaching whatever your dreams, goals, and desires are.
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