Thursday, July 22, 2010

Hillary Clinton To Become Republican

Hillary Clinton, long famously popular among Democrats but obsessively excoriated by Republicans, has decided to turn the tables on her opponents by becoming one of them.

In an interview, Senator Clinton told us, “There’s an old political axiom that you never spend any time trying to get the votes you already have. So I decided I didn’t have to spend anymore time as a Democrat. Since I would very likely not get even one Republican vote by continuing to tarry in that wannabe-President party, it seemed that the logical thing to do is get all their votes by becoming a Republican. Of course, since I can still count on getting all of the Democratic vote, I think I’m finally Presidential timber.”

Rumor has it that she was advised to make the deft switch from by her husband, who told her, “Look, sweetie, we’ve already had one Democratic President, and you know one of the reasons we’re still together is we don’t like to compete with each other. So how about this? Let’s get you in there as a Republican.”

Generally, Democrats reviled her for the decision but one of the cannier ones noted, “I think it’s a brilliant strategic move. Once she’s elected as a Republican, we’ll finally have a Democratic President.”

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