Men's Restroom Behavior

Only one half day left of my conference. I can hardly wait for this thing to be over and I can leave this town for a while.

One amusing story to share. While I was in the men's room today, I took my position at the urinal. As I was performing standard urinal procedure, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a man talking to another man about 5 urninals down. He stood right next to the man, and started talking while emptying the tank. It was obvious they had a solid business relationship.

As they exchanged greetings the man in mid-pee reached over and shook the other man's hand! WHOA! TIMEOUT! 3 cardinal rules of standard mens room procedure had been broken!

1. Failure to utlize the inbetween urninal. If there are a bank of pee stalls, be kind and position yourself at LEAST one urninal from your fellow urniner.

2. Direct Eye Contact. Never, I mean never make eye contact with a fellow uriner. You have already established a male bond by proxy because you pee standing up. Eyes front, cowboy.

3. Hand to hand contact in mid procedure. NO! should that man have put his had out in a kindly handshaky gesture, I would have told him, (and you should too), "Sorry, sir, but round these parts we practice a little bit of hand sanatizing. Wash em up good, with soap, dry em off, then we can shake." I know I keep my no-no zone in a mighty fine and clean condition, but I don't know about my fellow man.

I hope this has been a valuable refresher course in men restroom behavior.