As if Katrina wasn’t a bad enough blow for New Orleans, geologists now inform us that, due to more exact measurements via satellite, they have been able to determine that the down but not out metropolis is sinking faster than previously thought – instead of about a fifth of an inch a year, about an inch, which is, of course, about a foot every dozen years.
Always keen to ride the crest of a new wave onto megabuck beach, a television production company, having alighted on an enormous pot of gold with a previous, highly imaginative reality show, has honed in on the sinking city and created a new show, called “New Orleans, Sink Or Swim.” The concept immediately sparked interest in the equally imaginative creative minds at the networks, and ABC raced to option it.
The show, scheduled to debut in the fall, will feature twelve people stranded in New Orleans, or one actor per inch for the twelve years during which they hope the show will run. Complications will develop as the innovative members of the cast compete to stay above the waterline, while involving themselves in the usual crowd-pleasing boy-outdoes-girl shenanigans.
Rumor has it that the show will include guest appearances by longtime New Orleans residents, among them Fats Domino, who will demonstrate, as the city gives way to the sea, how well his rotund body floats.
Also, newly reelected Mayor Ray Nagin is expected to appear and endorse rebuilding even in the area that sinks deepest. He will, however, limit his endorsement to the construction of a seaquarium.