Thursday, August 19, 2010

Taliban Asserts Control Of North Waziristan; Tourism Dips

The Taliban has reportedly asserted control of North Waziristan, the famously wild mountainous region of Pakistan that borders Afghanistan. As a result, tourism in the area has taken a decided dip.

As one American tourist commented, “I really like to visit places where television and music are forbidden. I’m also a big fan of summary executions. But, in the case of North Waziristan, I think I’ll make an exception.”

The wifely half of an American couple who enjoy travel in the Middle East, said, “We’re so disappointed. My husband and I were really looking forward to a summer jaunt in North Waziristan. I hear it’s so wonderfully medieval.”

President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, an invaluable ally of the United States in the war on terror, affirmed his stance, by saying, “We are determined to find and destroy tourists wherever we find them.” Then he caught his apparent slip of the tongue, and continued, “I’m sorry. I meant to say ‘terrorists,’ not ‘tourists.’”

However, the press was overwrought by his misstatement and whizzed it around the world in seconds.

The rapidly spreading word-fire further discouraged recreational travel to North Waziristan.

The sudden decline surprised some observers, since the region is rumored to play host to the world’s most wanted murderous scamp, Osama Bin Laden.

The decline has also made it more difficult for visitors to the area from the CIA to pass themselves off as carefree travelers.

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